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Learning, enjoying, unraveling, relaxing and loving it!

Saturday 2 July 2016

Friends with Benefits

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or Tapping is something with a tremendous amount of power. 

It doesn't solve  anything, it doesn't cure  anything and it doesn't fix anything. But what it does do is calm down the system to allow it to make a decision and a reaction based on fact, reason and love, rather than on fear, learned patterns and the all powerful survival instinct.

When the body is in a state of anxiety, it is actually in a state of  'extreme protection' where the brain perceives a really substantial threat to your life. So when we're anxious, it's our body screaming at you "BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO STAY ALIVE!" The adrenal gland does an amazing job of powering hormones and chemicals through us to give us that super-human strength we need to lift us out of whatever terribly dangerous situation we've found ourselves in. But when we're anxious, we perceive that similar level of danger, everywhere. 

Then we go all Computery. 'What the actual flip flop is she talking about?' It's alright, I can hear you!

So, you have a lovely computer. Its's great, you love it. But unfortunately, the only way you can power it is from a battery. Are you with me? I know this is a wild concept.

So, you want to be able to use your Puter for short or long periods, as you desire/need. Of course. Who wouldn't. So, when you've finished with it, you shut it down, yes? This saves the battery (which means you can use it when you desperately need it)  it also stops naughty viruses hopping onto your computer while it's sat there taking in every bit of Her Majesty's interweb information that's being thrown at it. We all know how sluggish, exasperating and slow to start our computers are after we've given them a bit of a hammering.

Well your system is just the same. When you NEED the fight/flight response that comes from the anxiety to stay alive that alerts you to danger (without that none of us would be here now) it is there at your disposal. But, if you don't switch it off, it loses it's battery power, gets confused and sluggish by all the other information that's being thrown at it while you're not even watching. This is where the tapping comes in. 

It allows us to regulate that system. To give it a rest, to ensure that the only danger it freaks out about are actual dangers, not simply perceived ones. 

So, when you think about it, it's not really "magical", just energy regulation and brain pattern re-writing (hence 'the Brain Trainer'). It's no wonder everyone wants to learn more.

There are people out there who like to do things on their own. To study, cherry pick what's helpful and crack on with it. I expect there are very many EFT users out there who are completely self taught. There's a lot of information available to everyone, what we choose to do with it is our bag. 

But many people, like myself, have come to EFT for recovery. For real trauma, sickness, and all that bad shizz. Working with a practitioner gives you access to a resource that really genuinely is all powerful - the human brain. A second one. How often do we get chance to have two brains?! 



A good practitioner gives insight into your patterns, limiting beliefs and learned behaviours that you probably won't even be able to see because they are SO ingrained into your fabric. They have experience that is invaluable and see patterns and trends in human behaviour and reaction between different an unrelated individuals that can really, really benefit you. 

There is something truly wonderful also about being told what to do - in a loving and safe sense anyway! Now I don't mean that your practitioner will say to you "now put Skype down and go and wash my car" but they will be experienced in the wording and the practicing of the actual mechanics of the routine we go through, leaving you completely free to focus on that lovely brain of yours. The fact is, when you work with a practitioner, you will get more powerful results, quicker. The sense of peace that comes after working through a session with your second brain and pair of hands to help you carry the load, is just glorious.

Of course, money is always a factor in everything we do. Practitioners have a right to earn a decent living from what they are experts in. They wouldn't be able to help us if they didn't. The per hour rate is something that people who work for a company or a corporation can often raise an eyebrow at, but simply put, you may pay for an hour, but it takes three hours to give you that hour. All of these wonderful people are self employed, so they have accountants and taxes to pay, offices to run, records to keep, training and qualifications to keep up, advertising and marketing to do - and most people like this give an awful lot back to the community too. They also work many, many more hours than us mere mortals.

We also have this limiting belief that we don't deserve our own financial investment too. We put having a new smartphone before having a peaceful and relaxing self caring weekend away. We put an new pair of shoes (when we already have 12 like that) before the therapeutic massage that could help us to feel so much better physically. We put the new bits of tat for the living room or new hall carpet before investing in good quality natural healthy nutrition - often the 'immediate gratification over long term goals' thing overpowers us (read this book:  The Marshmallow Test). Surely we deserve better for ourselves? 

Well there's no surely about it. We do deserve better.

And don't call me Shirley.

Wednesday 29 June 2016

Aaaaaargggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Always having a fear of diaries, this is why I hate them - but I also see their importance.

These last post were written by me, absolutely. But I can't identify with much of it anymore and it's a bit tough to rad for that very reason.

I was really, really poorly writing these things. I can't remember if I really understood at that stage just how poorly I was.

Having embarked on a mental/physical/spiritual journey over the last few months, my voice has returned and I felt that I could utilise this platform to maybe pass on a tiny grain of hope? Also to talk about my experience, and continued experiences.

I have not logged onto this page for a while. Months. Right now I feel like hiting 'delete' and starting all over again. But I know that's not the right thing to do. This is about a journey and my goodness have I been on one. I'm starting to realise too that LOTS of people I know have been on similar ones, but have never spoken about it.

Distance Travelled

This is the current view of this blog. Just so you can see changes and differences. There are about to be some big changes! But I want to record it. (She says nervously peeping through fingers - is it safe enough to be able to look backwards yet?)


The fact is, I AM working again (I have chosen not to work full time in one job as such, but I could), I AM able to do all those things I had convinced myself i could not, and I AM able to live my life peacefully, in harmony and with love.

That is one depressing read.

I now eat really well, I exercise really well, practice with my new tools regularly and simply love life.

There's so much to say. And I'm still on my journey, still learning, still uncovering layers and still loving it.

I did a little video for me EFT practitioner a week or so ago and it's gone a bit viral and opened up a whole new world for me. Wanna see it?



So it's time to put a positive spin on things, time for a few changes and time to tell you about my journey and all the new things that have come into my life. That sounds a bit hippy, doesn't it?

Just for the record, I am not being paid by ANY member of the EFT/Mindfulness/Spiritual community or anyone else for this. These are my words and my experiences. 

Better get on! 

First job of this afternoon? Self care. I'm off to relax! 

Wednesday 2 March 2016

Because I Can



I'm coming to terms, slowly, with the fact that I am still a young ish woman but I'm never going to be financially independent (not unless there's a lottery win anyway).

(Just for the record - there is no particular reason why I feel compelled to be totally financially independent. It's just one of my "things".)

I am now realising that I just can't do what other people do as a matter of course. Not for very long, anyway. I can work, of course I can - work is VERY important to me. Purpose is vital. But I can't work loooong hours and spend hours sat in traffic jams (sometimes it's just not possible to ride my bike) only to snatch a few hours in bed, then be back at it. Well I can do that, for a bit. But not for very long. It hurts my brain in a way that takes me a very, very long time to recover.

I blame Jackie magazine. I think I've blamed Jackie for things before. And I'm sure I will again.

As a young pre-teen, my grandmother worked in a news agents. This was back in the old days when papers and magazines were thrown out instead of returned. I had a ready supply of Jackie magazine old unsold issues being collected for me and I just loved them. All these grown up looking girls, doing their thing. I couldn't wait to be one of them. Of course I learned an awful lot from them which was terrific and lead me into teenage times prepared, but since then, I have never been able to get the headline "what does your bedroom say about you?" out of my head. I am constantly measuring myself by the standard of "what would someone insignificant think". I'm a very lazy perfectionist and I'm not good enough at it to be totally anally retentive about how my bedroom/outside toilet/boot of my car appears, but I'm motivated enough to mentally beat the crap out of myself for it not portraying me in the best light possible.

The other thing I unhelpfully learned from mid 80's Jackie mag is that us ladies can, and I quote, "have it all". Damned 1980's. They did so much damage.

I was obsessed with 80's female body builder Corey Everson for a long time, thinking it was my duty to be a body builder, because I could. In fact, I should be everything; because I can. Sadly lacking, however was much in the way of instruction or direction as to making any kind of decision or path for myself, so I wandered along aimlessly and as a consequence, achieved very little other than extensive life experience. I was waiting for my path to naturally open up in front of me. It didn't. Never has.

There's still an awful lot of residual pressure from the "have it all" movement. In fact, there might be even more now. We all need to be runners now too. Mercilessly pounding pavements in the dark cluching a bottle with a hole through the middle and proclaiming that we "wouldn't be able to survive without running" at 5am. Before the kids get up. Before you get them to childcare. Before you go to your super rewarding job. Before you come home and hand cook an organic healthy delicious meal. Before you go out on "date night" with your handsome and supportive husband. Before you go to bed and have a decent amount of sex. Before you read a couple of chapters of the latest high brow novel while simultaneously checking the email your postgrad degree tutor has sent you about how brilliantly you're doing in your course. Before you confirm the time to meet your 17 gorgeous best friends who love you and each other equally to go to the spa pre "girls night" on Saturday.

We have to be all of these things in order to be worthy. Well guess what?

I BLOODY CAN'T ALRIGHT.

I can't cope. I get very tired very easily, my batteries run flat quickly. I can super charge them for a bit, but that cannot last long and if I'm not very careful it does me long term damage.

I WANT to do everything, but I can't. I have to rationalise this with myself who forgets this often. I sometimes get so swept up in "doing" that I have no concept of whether or not I might be doing lasting damage. I am so capable of doing so many things, and I want to do all of them. And right now. But I flaming can't. And I hate it.

Today is one of those days where I don't feel like I'm ever going to feel like myself again. Or that I'll ever be "happy" again, or not empty, one dimensional and lost. I don't feel like I'll ever find my path again (did I ever really find it in the first place) or achieve anything worthwhile ever again. I don't feel like I'll ever contribute to society ever again. (Of course my human brain knows this to be nonsense, but my Chimp is running amok and sometimes I can't get him to calm his shit down). I simply can't realistically see any of those things happening.

I can honestly see why so many with borderline have reckless habits. If I was in that kind of crowd or environment, today I would be a drug user to hide from my own mind. Or an alcoholic. Or I'd blow a shit tonne of money on crap. Luckily I have never really been in any of those places physically, but if I was, I would. If I was a Victorian prostitute I'd be off my face on Laudenam.

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